u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
