I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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