Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
