I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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