Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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