I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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