wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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