is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
