When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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