I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
