just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
