Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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