So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
