You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
