We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
