In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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