I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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