i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm like, not good at living.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
