: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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