The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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