and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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