One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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