This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
