But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
