yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
