i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
