I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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