Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your penis caused this!
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