i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
