So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
they need to just BURY HIM!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
