apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
they're like a gay fantastic four
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
