can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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