No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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