and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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