you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
