Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
