Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel great
I just peed on a car
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
