Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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