So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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