you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
