god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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