So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
