Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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