Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
