She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
