we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need a beard to bite.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
