We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
