i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm too high and old for this...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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