Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
