i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
