he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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